Do I Invite My Students to My Wedding?

Maybe you find yourself in the same position I did last year: you're engaged and debating whether to invite students to your wedding. Getting married isn't cheap and more seats = more money. Or maybe you wanted an adult only wedding. Or maybe it just feels like a hassle altogether you'd rather avoid. So should you do it? In short, YES.

I ran into this same dilemma after getting engaged Summer 2020. Throw in the added hurdle of COVID and it just didn't feel necessary to make planning any harder than it already was. But then I had my 2020/2021 class. You guys. What a special bunch of kids. I fell in LOVE with this class! They were funny, kind, engaging, respectful, and honestly a dream class (not to mention there was only 15 of them). They definitely had some academic needs, but their personalities were gold. I referred to them as my "sweet and lows". They not only cared deeply about each other, they cared about me and especially my engagement to Zach. They thought it was so wild and fun to have an engaged teacher and loved to tease about it.

It feels really special being engaged and having students go through that year of planning with you. They were so excited about it and loved asking about "Mr. Zach" and our wedding plans. "Did you get a dress?" and "Did you dress up today for Mr. Zach?" or "Are you going to kiss Mr. Zach at the wedding?" or "Do you have to change your name?" were frequent and hilarious questions. "Mr. Zach" even came with pizzas and read a story to them one day. It was like a D-list celebrity citing for them!

I so wanted to have them there to celebrate. I mean, they were honestly more invested in our marriage than 90% of our guest list. We just didn't know if it would work logistically. When we found out COVID restrictions on wedding venues were going to be lifted a month before our wedding, I quick made a little invitation and sent it to my students.

I checked with the venue and upped our seating to 200 for the ceremony. Zach and I decided just having them at the ceremony would be perfect and we could hug them after. We decided not to invite them and their parents to the reception and agreed the only kids at the reception would be family. I asked one of my coworkers/friends if they would help me plan a little something for after the ceremony to make it special for the kids. What did we do? Two words friends: Cookie. Reception.

After the ceremony and our receiving line, and before our sendoff onto the trolley, Zach and I went back upstairs to the venue where my students were waiting with their parents for their cookie reception! We had a little table set up with cookies and punch and we got to hang out with, hug, and take pictures with my kiddos. They're honestly some of my favorite photos from the wedding. It was short, sweet, intimate, and perfect. One student said "I can't believe I had to watch you kiss in front of everyone!". It was everything it needed to be and exactly what I wanted.

This year I'm a "Mrs." with a husband and my students don't really care about my personal life other than my cat- which is fine with me! But something about last year's class and their investment in my life and overall kindness and joy holds a special place in my heart. They're still my favorite class I've had (don't tell my other classes!). I feel like we are connected for life! And what a meaningful experience for them too to be able to come to their teacher's wedding. Talk about a core memory! I still have parents come up to me and tell me how cool it was that they got to come to the wedding and how they still talk about it at home. They still hug me in the halls and ask me how Mr. Zach is and accidentally call me by my maiden name. I loved everything about it and would do it over again in a heartbeat!

My advice to you, if you're debating it, is to first look at the logistics. Does your venue have room? Do you have some students who'd make you worry about disruptions during the ceremony? Harsh as it may sound, you also need to consider if this is a class you'd actually want there with you. It's still your day and should be celebrated with only the people you want there. Don't give in just because your students keep asking, really weigh the pros and cons. I also recommend being clear that they are invited to come with one parent and only to the ceremony (in an upbeat, positive way 😉). Only half of my students were able to come anyways, so it really wasn't a huge hassle for anyone. And lastly, if you have a teacher friend who is willing to help, or someone else in your life, host a little cookie reception!